The Emperor's New Clothes
by TheVeela
Summary: A musical in script format. Emperor Armando refuses to pick an heir, until Prince Fabian arrives, wondering which daughter he's betrothed to- Jada or Nadine? So the palace tailors fabricate a plan to solve everything. Until one of them falls for Jada...


THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES

Main Characters:

EMEROR ARMANDO: Ruler of the land of Espeland

PRINCESS JADA: Armando's daughter. Age 19.

PRINCESS NADINE: Jada's (fraternal) twin sister. Age 19.

PRINCE FABIAN: a visiting dignitary.

LEON: A palace tailor.

MIRABELLE: another palace tailor.

The show opens in the throne room of the palace, where EMPEROR ARMANDO is holding an event where his subjects can come to him with their problems and he will offer them "aid" and "advice." The subjects range from impoverished peasants and farmers to middle class landowners. The emperor has not arrived yet, so as the subjects arrive they start discussing how excited and thrilled they are that he is going to take the time to listen to them and help them.

A servant enters the empty stage and opens the doors. The subjects come pouring in through the door. He then shuts the door before everyone can get in, fearing that there will be too many people. The subjects inside don't seem to notice.

ALL SUBJECTS

_What a kind and caring emperor,_

_He's such a thoughtful man,_

_To take the time to listen to our woes_

_What a marvelous, fine emperor,_

_Of course, for sure he can,_

_Solve all of our problems_

_With the knowledge that he knows._

SUBJECT 1

_And the power that he holds._

SUBJECT 2

_He's such a lovely host._

SUBJECT 3

_Plus, he wears the finest clothes!_

SUBJECT 4

_And he's going to improve all of our lives!_

SUBJECT 1

_Think of all we can achieve_

SUBJECT 2

_With the help we will receive_

SUBJECT 3

_When our emperor arrives!_

ALL SUBJECTS

_What a great and glorious emperor_

_He's such awesome guy,_

_And Espeland is such a lucky land!_

_What a fabulous, fine emperor,_

_He'll listen to our cries,_

_He'll help and give advice and understand!_

EMPEROR ARMANDO enters, followed by his twin daughters, JADA and NADINE. The EMPEROR is good looking for his age and very fashionably dressed. NADINE is thin, beautiful and also clad in the latest fashions. JADA is not as beautiful as her sister, she is somewhat overweight and somewhat fashion challenged. The young ladies stand beside the throne. The EMPEROR stands in front of the throne and addresses the subjects.

EMPEROR

Good morning, my subjects, and thank you for coming. Dears, tell me how I can help, what can I do? For you? (sits down and gazes at them)

The subjects begin crying out their complaints all at once

(Sung, overlapping)

SUBJECT 1

_Please, sir, my crops-_

SUBJECT 2

_My fighting sons-_

SUBJECT 1

_There was a fire, and now-_

SUBJECT 3

_I just have a question-_

SUBJECT 4

_My husband died and now my baby's hungry-_

SUBJECT 2:

_They won't stop fighting-_

EMPEROR

(spoken) Hush! One at a time, please.

SUBJECT 1

_Dear Emperor, your highness, _

_I've a problem with my crops, you see, _

_a fire came and burnt half my fields down. _

_I can't pay my bills _

_and feed my child with only half my rice, _

_dear sir, it would be nice, _

_if you could perhaps, give me some extra time_

_before you come demand my taxes?_

EMPEROR

_Ah, good man, you still have half your rice, _

_I'm sure that will suffice, _

_to feed your child till next harvest, sure enough. _

_As for taxes and your bills, _

_you could do without your frills. _

_You could even sell your land or sell your stuff. _

SUBJECT 1

_But Emperor, please, I would only need a few extra-_

EMPEROR

(spoken)

Nonsense, I'm sure you'll get by just fine. NEXT!

SUBJECT 2

_Emperor, my sons, all they ever do is fight. _

_I love them both, but I must leave one my estate. Emperor, my problem is, _

_there's no fair way to decide, _

_and I can't bear to give them _

_one more cause for hate. _

EMPEROR

_Of course, you should just leave it to the oldest son._

SUBJECT 2

_But, your highness I can't leave Gerard with nothing, _

_simply cause Migeul's the oldest one._

EMPEROR

_Well, dear subject, I know well _

_you own a large estate. _

_If you could let them share the place, _

_I'm sure they would do great._

SUBJECT 2

_But sir, they'd kill each other with their hate!_

(spoken)

They couldn't possibly live in the same—

EMPEROR

(spoken) Next!

SUBJECT 3

_Emperor of Espeland, I'd simply like to ask _

_whom you intend to name as royal heir? _

_Which of your twin daughters _

_is to rule our lovely land? _

_Jada? Or Princess Nadine, the fair?_

Music stops and everyone goes silent and looks to the emperor. SUBJECT 3 appears confused.

EMPEROR

(spoken, standing up from the throne) Excuse me? Are you saying— are you saying that I'm— _old? _

SUBJECT 3

No, no not at all your grace, you are quite handsome and fit, and very, very, veryveryvery young. I was just—

EMPEROR

How dare you insult me! Get out of my palace!

SUBJECT 3 flees the throne room.

EMPEROR

Ahem, my daughters are quite obviously still children. Why would I need to choose an heir before they're even grown? I'm young and healthy. Good people of Espeland, you have nothing to fear, I'm going to be alive on this throne for a very long time. (sits down and music starts up again) Now, who's next?

SUBJECT 4

_Oh emperor, my baby, she's dying of starvation. My husband died, and I've no money for her food. She only needs a little, just some milk, and—_

LEON and MIRABELLE enter. MIRABELLE whispers something to the EMPEROR and he interrupts SUBJECT 4. Music stops again.

EMPEROR

Well, sorry dear subjects, that's all the time I have for today. I'm afraid I must run off to a suit fitting with the palace tailors. Farewell!

EMPEROR, LEON and MIRABELLE exit.

SUBJECT 4

But please, your highness, you never even answered me!

The subjects exit too, all obviously upset. JADA and NADINE are left onstage.

NADINE

Who do you think father will pick to be his heir?

JADA

Oh please, he's never going to pick an heir, Nadine. We could ask him on his death-bed and he would still say (impersonating the emperor, lying across the throne)"Are you [cough, cough] calling me— old?! [cough, cough, cough]" (impersonates him dying)

NADINE rolls her eyes.

NADINE

You're just joking around because you know he'd never pick you.

JADA

(standing up)

Oh? And why not?

NADINE

(sitting down on the throne)

You're just not regal enough, I suppose. You have no poise. No charm.

JADA

And why on earth would someone need poise and charm to run an empire? Intellect and wisdom are what you need.

NADINE

Wisdom? (mocking) well then, oh Wise Empress Jada, please share with me your magnificent wisdom! Ha! You know father's going to pick me. I'd make a fantastic empress because, well, (singing)

_I'm so lovely and fair, _

_with my long, flowing hair,_

_They'll carve statues in my name._

_They'll write songs to proclaim_

_My beauty and fame,_

_You'll see._

_Every prince in the land_

_Shall duel for my hand._

_I'll be_

_Sweet and serene__**,**_

_What a queen!_

_With a prince at my side,_

(standing up)

_I'll be known far and wide,_

_As the fabulous Empress Nadine!_

JADA

_Sweet and serene?_

_You'd be vapid and mean_

_What a queen!_

_With your ego and pride,_

_You'll be known far and wide_

_As the air-headed Empress Nadine!_

(spoken)But, me, on the other hand…

_With my wisdom and trust,_

_I'll be caring and just,_

_They'll travel a week,_

_Just to hear me speak._

_I'll lead and inspire_

_The entire empire!_

_You'll see._

_I'll guide and advise,_

_Make allies,_

_I'll be _

_Righteous and grand,_

_And praised through the land_

_As Empress Jada, the wise!_

JADA sits down on the thrown again

NADINE

_Make allies?_

_But your gross size,_

_No decent guys_

_Could ever withstand,_

_You'll be mocked through the land_

_As the empress with enormous thighs!_

JADA

_You're a self-absorbed dummy!_

NADINE

_You're ugly and chubby!_

JADA

_I could climb to heights unknown-_

NADINE

(Pulling JADA off the throne)

_You'd never make it!_

JADA

_You'd make a mockery of the throne!_

NADINE

_Well, at least I wouldn't break it!_

JADA

(frustrated) Ugh!

NADINE and JADA sing this part at the same time, overlapping, while they both try to sit on the throne at the same time, shoving each other.

NADINE

_You'll see._

_Every prince in the land_

_Shall duel for my hand._

_I'll be_

_Sweet and serene,_

_What a queen!_

_With a prince at my side,_

_I'll be known far and wide,_

_As the fabulous Empress Nadine!_

_Make allies?_

_But your gross size,_

_No decent guys_

_Could ever withstand,_

_You'll be mocked through the land_

_As the empress with enormous thighs!_

JADA

_You'd be vapid and mean_

_With your ego and pride,_

_You'll be known far and wide_

_As the arrogant Empress Nadine!_

_I'll lead and inspire_

_The entire empire!_

_You'll see._

_I'll guide and advise,_

_Make allies,_

_I'll be _

_Righteous and grand,_

_And praised through the land_

_As Empress Jada, the wise!_

NADINE wins the physical struggle to sit on the throne and pushes JADA off. She sits there regally as the music fades out and JADA gets up.

NADINE

Keep dreaming, cupcake.

NADINE exits the stage. JADA remains by herself and walks around the throne. The music fades back in, softer.

JADA

_With my wisdom and trust,_

_I'll be caring and just,_

_They'll travel a week,_

_Just to hear me speak._

_I'll lead and inspire_

_The entire empire!_

_They'll see._

_I'll guide and advise,_

_Make allies,_

_I'll be _

_Righteous and grand,_

_And praised through the land_

_As Empress Jada, the wise!_

The music changes back to the music from the opening number. JADA sits down on the thrown and pretends to give advice to the subjects in the opening number.

JADA

(spoken)

Good morning, people of Espeland. My dear subjects, how can I help you?

JADA pauses briefly and pretends to listen to a subject

_I'm so sorry, ma'am, to hear _

_That half your rice burned in the fire_

_But, it's all too very clear_

_you make the best rice pudding in the empire, _

_all will buy your rice _

_at thrice the price, _

_if you make what's left into that delicious treat. _

_In fact, I'd like a hundred servings _

_for my banquet next week. _

(spoken) Now, who's next?

JADA pretends to listen to another subject. LEON enters but she doesn't see him. He is carrying a crate of fabrics.

_Isn't it a shame when siblings fight?_

_But I do have a solution to your plight._

_Leave one son your house and property, _

_he'll make a living from the crops, you see, _

_and then, _

_leave your money to the other man, _

_so he can buy some other land, _

_far from the brother he can't seem to stand. _

_He too can have a farm to start. _

_Your sons won't be as rich,_

_but good sir, they'll live in bliss,_

_since they'll be miles and miles and miles apart._

(spoken) Alright, who's up next?

LEON steps in front of the throne and plays along.

LEON

_Dear Empress, your Majesty,_

_I have a small request for you, your grace._

_I've been working very hard, you see,_

_And I think I do deserve an ample raise._

JADA comes back to reality and tries to regain her composure. The music stops.

JADA

Leon. Well, what a surprise. Is the fitting finished already?

LEON

Just about. Mirabelle sent me to get some measurements for you and your sister. Your father wants us to make you two some new dresses for the prosperity parade and the ball and banquet and everything. As if we don't have enough work to do already with his wardrobe alone. (rolls his eyes)

JADA stands up and LEON starts measuring

JADA

Well you know how he always needs to out-dress everyone.

LEON

Of course. Arms out.

LEON measures across her arms

JADA

You don't have to make me anything fancy, you know. I don't want to look like a toy doll, all covered in lace and bows.

LEON

Good, cause Nadine's probably going to demand extra lace and bows for her gowns. Any idea what colors you'd like? I brought a crate full of silks to choose from.

JADA

Dark green, or maroon maybe.

LEON

Absolutely not.

JADA

What?

LEON

You wear dark colors because you don't want to stand out, right?

JADA

Well, yes, that's true-

LEON

I'm trying to help you here. This is the prosperity parade. Everyone's going to be wearing bright, festive colors and prints. If you wear some dark, sad color, you're going to stick out like a- like a weed in a flower garden. You should-

JADA

(angry, a little hurt)

Oh? And what color would you recommend to make me look like less of a weed?

LEON

Not that you're a- I mean, that's not what I intended to- I just meant that you should-

MIRABELLE enters.

JADA

Just make whatever you want, Leon, I don't care.

JADA starts to leave, but LEON stops her.

LEON

Wait, I still need to get your, uh, waist measurement.

JADA stands uncomfortably while Leon measures her waist, then immediately storms out.

MIRABELLE

What was that all about?

LEON

Oh you know, I say something completely arbitrary and she manages to get offended.

MIRABELLE

Psh, women. So, I already got Nadine's measurements. Along with her elaborate list of specifications and demands.

LEON

Lace and bows?

MIRABELLE

More than ever. Like we don't have enough work to do already.

LEON

(laughs) I was just saying that. Jada told me I could make whatever I want.

MIRABELLE

Oooh, artistic license! Let's make her something hideous!

LEON

Well the clothes she wears now are already hideous. I thought it might be fun to make her something she'd actually look pretty in, for a change, since she said I don't have to use any of the dreary dark colors she usually wears. Just for something different, you know?

MIRABELLE

Whatever you say. As long as we get everything done in time, I'll be happy.

LEON

As long as we get raises, I'll be happy. Can you believe what the emperor is paying us? I've sewn burlap tents for more money than this.

MIRABELLE

Leon, we can't ask for raises, that's how his last tailors got fired. Hell, that's how we got hired, because we were willing to work for less as long as we had a place to live.

LEON

But we're being treated like slaves, Mirabelle! We're supposed to make six gowns and three suits in less than two weeks!

MIRABELLE

Well then, we'd better get started now.

FABIAN enters.

FABIAN

Excuse me? Where might I find Emperor Armando?

LEON

I believe he's gone to the grand hall for lunch.

FABIAN

Please tell him that Prince Fabian of Atropora has arrived. I would like to speak with him as soon as possible.

LEON

(sort of mad because he's not a servant) Of course, your grace, I'll go find him right away.

LEON exits.

MIRABELLE

Prince Fabian, how far is Atropora?

FABIAN

It's a four-day journey on horseback.

MIRABELLE

Four days! You must be exhausted. Perhaps you'd like to rest before you meet with the Emperor?

FABIAN

Not at all, miss. I must speak with the Emperor immediately, it's quite urgent.

NADINE comes rushing in.

NADINE

Oh it is true, a prince! Allow me to introduce myself your highness. I'm Princess Nadine, Emperor Armando's daughter. May I ask what brings you to Espeland?

FABIAN

It's a pleasure to finally meet you at last, Princess. I'm Fabian, prince of Atropora. I'm here to speak to your father. Is he on his way?

NADINE

Yes, yes, he'll be here shortly. Atropora? Why, that must have taken you six days! Aren't you tired?

FABIAN

Well, four days in fact. My horses are much more tired than I.

EMPEROR ARMANDO enters, followed by JADA and LEON.

EMPEROR

Fabian! Last time you were here your were four years old! You remember my daughters, Nadine and Jada.

NADINE curtseys low and winks at him. JADA nods.

EMPEROR

What brings you to my lovely palace, young lad?

FABIAN

I trust you have not forgotten about our arrangement, your highness?

EMPEROR

What arrangement? Oh, good gracious, my boy, are you 20 already?

FABIAN

I turn 20 in one month, your grace, so I have come to you today in hopes that you might honor the wishes of your late wife and my mother.

EMPEROR

Of course, Fabian, of course. Have you brought the contract with you?

FABIAN

Yes, would you like to read it?

FABIAN takes a paper out of his pocket and hands it to the EMPEROR.

EMPEROR

Ahem, (reads) In accordance with the terms of the annexation of Atropora by the Espeland Empire, I, Emperor Armando, consent to the following conditions. Prince Fabian of Atropora, upon reaching the age of 20, shall marry the heir to the throne of Espeland and rule the empire alongside her, thereby uniting our great nations truly. Should Espeland fail to honor this arrangement, the empire must peacefully relinquish control of Atropora and allow it to become an independent nation once again. Signed, Emperor Armando. (he hands the contract back to FABIAN) So you're here to claim one of my daughters then?

NADINE

But which one of us is engaged to him, father? The contract doesn't say-

FABIAN

That's exactly what I've come here to discern, your grace. The contract doesn't specify which princess I'm engaged to. It simply says that I'm engaged to marry "the heir to the throne of Espeland." Which of your daughters is heir to the throne?

EMPEROR

Ah, Prince Fabian, I have yet to choose an heir.

FABIAN

Well, who is the oldest?

EMPEROR

Ha, that is the tricky part, dear boy, for Princess Nadine and Princess Jada are twins, born on the exact same day.

FABIAN

Good heavens. Well, Emperor, I must ask you to name an heir immediately, if you wish to fulfill the terms of the contract. Otherwise, as the contract states, you must relinquish control over Atropora so that-

EMPEROR

_I know what the contract states, boy, _

_Prince Fabian, I need some time_

_To decide _

_on your bride,_

_So it would be sublime,_

If everyone stopped bossing me around!

The EMPEROR stomps around stage throughout the song, waving his arms and basically throwing a temper tantrum while everyone tries to calm him down.

FABIAN

(spoken) Your highness, I simply ask that you-

EMPEROR

_Do you know what it's like run an empire?_

_You're a prince just in title, not career._

_I still rule your land,_

_And so I command,_

_That you just listen here,_

And never ever tell me what to do!

JADA

(spoken) You'll have to decide eventually, just get it over with and-

NADINE

(spoken) Father, perhaps if you just give it some thought-

EMPEROR

_How am I supposed to choose between my daughters?_

_What kind of father would I be to make_

_Sisters fight?_

_It's not right,_

_Jada, Nadine, for your sake, _

Please just stop pressuring me!

LEON

Your highness, maybe you should calm down a little-

MIRABELLE

Yes, perhaps you should have a seat, your majesty-

EMPEROR

_It's bad enough from friends and family,_

_But now from my servants too?_

_You make clothes,_

_So don't suppose,_

_You can advise me what to do,_

Cause I'm sick of people telling me what to do!

The EMPEROR stamps his feet until his clothes tear with a loud rip and the music stops. He turns to MIRABELLE.

EMPEROR

You call this quality craftsmanship, Mirabelle?! Clothes that rip to shreds every time I so much as move?!

MIRABELLE

I'll fix that right away, your highness-

EMPEROR

Oh no you won't missy, cause you're fired! Get out of my palace! I never want to-

MIRABELLE

Fired?

EMPEROR

You heard me! I'm sick of your attitude and your ugly styles and your terrible work!

MIRABELLE

(angry) Well maybe if you didn't eat so much you could move around in your clothes without tearing them!

EMPEROR

Excuse me?!

MIRABELLE

And maybe if you didn't throw temper tantrums like a two-year-old people might like you better!

EMPEROR

People love me. I believe I told you to get out of my palace!

MIABELLE

Fine! Come on Leon, let's go.

LEON looks confused and picks up the crate of fabrics.

EMPEROR

Leon isn't fired, Mirabelle. He's staying here.

MIRABELLE

Leon is coming with me, your majesty.

EMPEROR

Well let's ask him, shall we? Leon, would you rather stay employed and get paid double or quit and follow Mirabelle into poverty?

LEON

(hesitant) Well, your highness, it would certainly be difficult to handle all the royal sewing by myself, seeing as it's already too much work for two people. (getting more confident and hinting to Mirabelle) I think now might be a great opportunity to answer the Duke of Preciaso.

MIRABELLE

The Duke of Preciaso? (confused, then catching on) Oh yes, the duke!

LEON

He's been offering us a job for years, he's always been quite jealous of your clothes, your highness.

MIRABELLE

Yes, he's offered to pay us twice as much as you-

LEON

But of course, we were always too loyal to accept-

EMPEROR

Fine then, go make clothes for the Duke and see if I care!

The EMPEROR knocks over Leon's crate of fabric and makes a mess. LEON and MIRABELLE start picking up.

NADINE

But who's going to sew my new gowns?

FABIAN

Your highness, there's still the matter of the heir?

JADA

Yes, father, who's going to be the heir?

MIRABELLE

(whispering to Leon) Well that almost worked, but what now?

EMPEROR

Would everyone please stop pestering me with these stupid decisions!

LEON

(to MIRABELLE) Hm. I have an idea. Just follow my lead. (clears his throat and speaks louder) Oh yes, the Enchanted Silk of Abu Dhabi. The Duke has been begging us to weave him some ever since we made it for his sister-in-law years ago.

The EMPEROR looks over, interested. LEON and MIRABELLE continue picking up fabric and talking to each other loudly.

MIRABELLE

Wouldn't the Duke look splendid in a suit of our fabulous enchanted silk? I wonder if we could finish it in time for the Prosperity Parade?

LEON

And I hear he's having some trouble choosing a general. He'll certainly need the powers of our enchanted silk to help with his decision.

EMPEROR

What is this enchanted silk you two are babbling on about?

(Music begins)

LEON

Oh, just this specialty fabric we used to make for our old employers. It's very rare-

MIRABELLE

Delicate-

LEON

Expensive-

MIRABELLE

Beautiful-

LEON

And it has magical powers.

EMPEROR

And how come you've never made any of this expensive, magical silk for ME before?

LEON

Well, your highness, I don't think you've ever commissioned any before. Has he?

MIRABELLE

No, I believe he hasn't.

EMPEROR

This is an outrage! I demand you make me a suit of the Enchanted Silk of Abu Dhabi at once!

LEON

But, Emperor, that's quite impossible, since you've dismissed Mirabelle, and she's the only one who knows what to feed the magical silkworms to get them to produce magical thread to weave the magical silk with.

EMPEROR

What's so magical about this silk anyway?

MIRABELLE

_Why, it's extra ordinary-_

LEON

_Nigh, extraordinary? It's like nothing that you've ever seen!_

MIRABELLE

_You'll look smashing!_

LEON

_Simply dashing!_

MIRABELLE

_And the fabric's power will-?_

LEON

_Solve all of your woes!_

EMPEROR

(spoken) How?

LEON

_It will expose_

_All of those_

_You may suppose_

_Know_

_How to do_

_The jobs that you_

_Bestow, so_

_You can erase_

_And replace_

_Every trace_

_Of disgrace_

_Who isn't worthy of his place._

MIRABELLE

_Or HER place,_

_If that's the case._

LEON

_Of course, your grace. _

EMPEROR

(spoken) So you're saying that a suit made from this magic silk will give me the power to determine whether or not a man is smart enough for his job?

MIRABELLE

_(interrupting) Or HER-_

EMPEROR

(spoken) Or HER job, indeed. Can it show me who would be the best choice for a certain position? How does it work?

MIRABELLE

_Well, you'll see their merit_

_When you wear it_

_Because, well, because- _

LEON

_Because the way we weave it-_

MIRABELEE

_The stupid ones,_

LEON

_Unworthy ones,_

MIRABELLE

_And foolish ones_

LEON

_Simply can't perceive it!_

MIRABELLE

(whispering) Can't perceive it?

LEON

(whispering) Leave it.

LEON & MIRABELLE

_It's like a dream,_

_The way it gleams, _

_The shades! The shine! The sheen!_

_It's like nothing that you've ever seen!_

_All will stop to stare_

_When you wear_

_This fairly rare,_

_Light as air,_

_Precious silk _

_With power beyond compare!_

EMPEROR

So the silk is only visible to those who are smart enough?

LEON

Precisely your grace, and those who are unworthy and unwise are simply blind to it. After all, fools and failures are incapable of perceiving anything of true beauty.

_Emperor Armando, sire,_

_When you wear this rare attire,_

_You'll know exactly who to hire-_

MIRABELLE

_And who to fire-_

EMPEROR

_And who to rule when I retire!_

_How much cash would this require?_

LEON

(spoken) Well we have to buy the enchanted silkworms-

MIRABELLE

And the terribly expensive ingredients for their food-

LEON

Not to mention the rare dyes we must use for the colors-

MIRABELLE

And the long and stressful hours-

LEON

So we're looking at about 1500 up-front for the materials, plus a 38 percent pay raise for our labor.

EMPEROR

That's outrageous!

LEON

That's the price of fashion and power, your highness.

LEON & MIRABELLE

_It's like a dream,_

_The way it gleams, _

_The shades! The shine! The sheen!_

_It's like nothing that you've ever seen!_

_All will stop to stare_

_When you wear_

_This fairly rare,_

_Light as air,_

_Precious silk _

_With power beyond compare!_

EMPEROR

(spoken) I'll give you 700 up front and a 15 percent raise.

LEON

Mm, looks like the Duke of Preciaso is the only one who can afford our services. Farewell your highness. (bows)

EMPEROR

Wait! I'll pay it, I'll pay it. But I want you to also finish the gowns for my daughters with that raise.

MIRABELLE

So we have a deal?

EMPEROR

We have a deal.

LEON

You won't regret this, your highness, because-

LEON & MIRABELLE

_It's like a dream,_

_The way it gleams, _

_The shades! The shine! The sheen!_

_It's like nothing that you've ever seen!_

EMPEROR

_All will stop to stare_

_When I wear_

_This fairly rare,_

_Light as air,_

_Precious silk _

_With power beyond compare!_

Lights fade. END SCENE.

The next scene takes place in the tailor's studio. There is fabric everywhere, as well as other sewing notions such as thread, ribbons, buttons, etc. LEON and MIRABELLE enter.

MIRABELLE

I can't believe that fat moron tried to fire me! I'm the best tailor he's ever had! Ugly styles? Terrible work? His waist has grown eight inches in the past month! And he's surprised that his clothes ripped?

LEON

Relax Mirabelle, we're about to become very, very rich.

MIRABELLE

I've never been so insulted!

LEON

Don't you get it? All our problems are solved! Once the emperor pays us, we hop on the next boat out of here and go where-ever we please.

MIRABELLE

Once he pays us? Oh no, no, no. Leon, you're enchanted silk idea is brillant!

LEON

Thank you.

MIRABELLE

It's perfect!

LEON

Well thanks.

MIRABELLE

Thanks to your genius idea, the emperor is finally going to get the humiliation he deserves.

LEON

What?

MIRABELLE

He's going to march through the streets of Espeland naked, thinking he's wearing some magical suit!

LEON

Whoa, Mirabelle, it's just a diversion to get us some money and buy us some time to bail.

MIRABELLE

Leon, you don't even realize your own brilliance. He totally fell for it! He's eating out of our hands right now.

LEON

Which is why we need to bail before he realizes we're scamming him.

MIRABELLE

The longer we wait, the more money we get. Remember our 38 percent pay increase?

LEON

Yeah.

MIRABELLE

_We'll ruin him_

_We'll get revenge_

LEON

_We'll fool the king_

_We'll get our pay_

MIRABELLE

_We'll stash the gold _

LEON

_And run away_

MIRABELLE

_While the entire empire laughs-_

LEON

_We'll be counting bags of cash_

_On a ship to who knows where,_

_Where we'll live out our wildest dreams_

MIRABELLE

_Thick as thieves _

LEON

_And rich as kings!_

_With no regrets-_

MIRABELLE

_Except for this-_

_That I will miss_

_The look upon _

_his handsome face_

_When he weeps in shame_

_From his disgrace._

BOTH

_The beauty of it is he's gonna pay_

MIRABELLE

_For all that shit he said today_

LEON

_Payment!_

MIRABELLE

_Payback!_

LEON

A new life, far from this empty existence!

Far from this pathetic subsistence!

I can't wait til we depart,

Maybe then my life will start!

All because today

He's gonna pay!

MIRABELLE

And so I make this resolution

I'll get revenge, get retribution!

Emperor Amando then will see

How much more there is to me

All because today

He's gonna pay!

LEON

_Payment!_

MIRABELLE

_Payback!_

LEON

_A new life, far from this empty existence! _

_Far from this pathetic subsistence!_

_I can't wait til we depart,_

_Maybe then my life will start!_

MIRABELLE

_And so I make this resolution_

_I'll get revenge, get retribution!_

_Emperor Amando then will see_

_How much more there is to me_

BOTH

_All because today_

_He's gonna pay!_

JADA is sitting on a bench in the garden, studying from a book. FABIAN enters, looking bored.

FABIAN

What are you reading?

JADA

Oh, hello Fabian. I'm just reading Principles of Commerce Law.

FABIAN

By Hubert Emmille right?

JADA

You've read it?

FABIAN

Yes, my father gave me a copy for my 16th birthday. (sits down) Seems a little outdated nowadays though.

JADA

Well it's all I have to study from. My father doesn't buy very many books. He doesn't really read that much.

NADINE enters and sees them. She starts picking flowers and sashaying around, trying to get Fabian's attention.

FABIAN

Well I brought along a few books if you'd like to borrow some.

JADA

That would be so helpful, thank you.

Fabian notices NADINE and stares off at her, no longer paying attention to JADA.

JADA

I want to study as much as I can so I can pass my father's test. I just have to pass it, I just have to. What books did you bring? (he doesn't answer) Fabian?

FABIAN

(still watching NADINE) Huh? Oh um, Theories of International Communications, Imperial, uh Imperial…

NADINE

Oh, good afternoon Fabian. Are you enjoying your visit?

FABIAN

Well, it's been rather boring so far, Princess.

NADINE

Yes well, Jada is usually pretty dull, isn't she?

FABIAN

Oh no, I was actually referring to the Emperor. He refuses to meet with me, he rarely even speaks to me.

NADINE sqeezes herself onto the bench between FABIAN and JADA, putting her hand on Fabian's knee.

NADINE

How awful! You must forgive him though, he has so many preparations to make for the Prosperity Parade. That's what's keeping him so busy.

FABIAN

Of course, of course, it's just been rather tedious, eating all alone, going for walks by myself.

FABIAN puts his hand on NADINE's hand and JADA rolls her eyes and continues to study.

NADINE

How terrible! Allow me to make it up to you. You simply must have dinner with me tonight.

FABIAN

That's so very kind of you Princess. I'd love to join you for dinner.

NADINE

Fabulous.

JADA shuts her book loudly and Fabian looks at her. NADINE leans back and forth to stay in his sightline.

FABIAN

Oh, well I should go get those books for Jada.

JADA

Fabulous.

FABIAN

I'll see you at dinner Princess Nadine. (exits)

NADINE

(standing up and calling after him) I can't wait! (turning to JADA) How dare you try and flirt with him! You know very well that he's going to marry whoever passes the test, so if you think you can weasel your way to the throne by soliciting his affections then you are completely deluded!

JADA

Are you serious? You're the one fondling his leg and inviting him to dinner!

NADINE

He's a guest. I have to be a polite hostess, of course. And it's not like you're pretty enough for a prince to even look at you. So um, what were you two taking about anyway?

JADA

(suggestively) International relations.

NADINE

Oh, you little- ugh! What makes you think he'd ever want to marry you?

JADA

Because I'm going to pass the test and father's going to name me as his heir to the throne, meaning that Fabian would have to marry me if he wants to become emperor, which of course, he wants more than anything in the world. Or anyone.

NADINE

Well in that case he's going to marry me, because guess what? I've already passed the test!

JADA

What do you mean? The test is next week.

NADINE

I peeked into the tailor's studio this morning and saw them weaving the enchanted silk. It's the most beautiful fabric I've ever seen.

JADA

That's cheating!

NADINE

No it's not. I had to go there anyway to get my new dress fitted. (smiles) I have to look pretty for the parade next week when father names me as his heir and Fabian proposes to me.

JADA

That'll never happen, Nadine. I'm going to see the silk and pass the test without cheating. (exits)

NADINE

Hmph. Selfish little brat.

FABIAN re-enters with some books.

FABIAN

Where's Jada? She wanted to borrow these books.

NADINE

Oh I guess she got tired of waiting and ran off somewhere. Care for a stroll in the garden before dinner, your highness?

FABIAN

(sets books down on the bench and offers his arm) A stroll sounds fabulous.

END SCENE

The tailors' studio. Leon is at the loom, running the mechanisms without any thread on the shuttle. Mirabelle is sewing on Nadine's gown.

MIRABELLE

After I finish this seam, I'm going down to the docks to arrange for our departure.

LEON

Excellent. Frances came by earlier to drop off our payment. Well, I should say he came by earlier to try and get a glimpse of enchanted silk (laughs). The payment was just his excuse to stop in.

MIRABELLE

And what did Frances think of our fantastic fabric?

LEON

He called it "unbelievably beautiful."

MIRABELLE

Ha, what a moron.

A knock at the door. Mirabelle opens it and ALBERTO enters.

MIRABELLE

Alberto, how lovely to see you! What brings you all the way down to our little corner of the palace?

ALBERTO

(trying to look around Mirabelle to get a glimpse of the loom) Well I was just headed to the kitchen and I thought I'd see if you two needed anything. Since you've been working so hard, of course.

MIRABELLE

Oh, isn't that sweet, Leon?

LEON

Yes, very sweet. Alberto, you're such a sweetie.

ALBERTO

So that's the magical silk, eh?

LEON

It is indeed. Do you think the emperor will like it?

ALBERTO

He'll absolutely love it! Those colors are just perfect for him.

MIRABELLE

Yes, doesn't the emperor look magnificent in blues and greens?

ALBERTO

Blue and green? Yes, yes, he always looks so magnificent in blues and greens. Well I guess I should be going. I have to get to a meeting.

LEON

Oh I thought you were going to the kitchen?

MIRABELLE

Yes, I thought you came to see if we wanted anything?

ALBERTO

Oh right, right. Do you want anything?

LEON

I would love a nice, cold glass of milk.

MIRABELLE

And I could really go for some strawberries.

ALBERTO

Well, I'll be back shortly. Keep up the good work.

ALBERTO exits and SOFIA enters.

SOFIA

Good afternoon, I was just passing by and I noticed that beautiful silk on your loom! It's simply marvelous! I just had to come in for a closer look.

LEON

Thanks Sofia, I just hope the emperor will be pleased with it.

SOPHIA

Oh of course he will be, just look at it! He'll look dazzling!

MIRABELLE

Well reds and purples do complement his skin tone so well, don't they?

SOPHIA

Absolutely, red and purple is so perfect for him, I've always said. Great choice. Well, I should be on my way. (exits)

MIRABELLE

(closing the door and laughing) How can they be so stupid?

LEON

How can YOU be so stupid? Stop telling people different colors, they're going to catch on!

MIRABELLE

Oh relax Leon, no one's going to find out. Notice how everyone pretends they can see it? They're all too obsessed with themselves to catch on to anything. Now I'm headed down to the docks. I expect you to make a lot of progress on that weaving when I come back.

MIRABELLE exits, closing the door. LEON stops his pretend weaving and leans back in his chair, stretching. There is another knock at the door and LEON stumbles and knocks over the chair, startled, as JADA enters.

LEON

Princess Jada, your gown isn't quite ready for fitting yet, perhaps if you stop by tomorrow-

JADA

(taking a deep breath and entering the room, shutting the door behind her) I'm not here about the dress. I want to see the fabric.

LEON

(pulling out the unfinished gown) Well I decided to go with a periwinkle blue satin. I think it will bring out your eyes and go nicely with your-

JADA

No Leon, the silk. The enchanted silk of Abu Dhabi. Nadine said she saw it, so I need to see it too.

LEON

Oh, the fabric.

JADA

Is that cheating? Am I not allowed to see it?

LEON

Well Nadine was in here earlier, so I guess if she saw it, then it's fair for you.

JADA

Where is it?

LEON

It's, well, it's on the loom.

JADA

(staring at the loom) You're lying to me. You're lying to me, right? (LEON can't think of anything to say) Oh no, no no no no! I can't see the silk! I'm going to fail the test! I'm never going to be empress. Leon, what's wrong with me?

LEON

There's nothing wrong with you, Princess.

JADA

Tell me what I need to do. How can I make myself more worthy? Do I need to study more?

LEON

Um, yes, that must be the reason. You just need to study some more. Why don't you go do some studying tonight and then tomorrow, when you come in for your fitting, you can check the loom and see if you studied enough?

JADA

Do you really think it will help?

LEON

Well it certainly couldn't hurt.

JADA

Alight, thanks Leon. Leon? Please don't tell anyone that I can't see it.

LEON

Of course, Princess.

JADA

Thanks.

LEON

See you tomorrow. Good luck with that studying.

JADA

Bye.

JADA leaves and LEON watches her from the door for a moment before he closes it.

LEON

_Imagine that, _

_she didn't lie,_

_didn't pretend_

_that she could see._

_Could she be the girl for…?_

_She didn't guess_

_Like all the rest_

_Who went and came,_

_They're all the same,_

_But she— _

_she could be the girl for…_

_the way she stared _

_and got so scared_

_and then declared_

_It wasn't there. _

_The way she stressed _

_And then confessed _

_She couldn't see the suit_

_It was refreshing, it was…_

_She isn't blind and self-obsessed,_

_And that's appealing?_

_Why is it so confusing to express_

_The way I'm…?_

_She's not dishonest; she's not vain,_

_And that's appealing,_

_But it still doesn't explain_

_This warmth I'm…?_

_She's sincere, and dear, and true,_

_And so appealing,_

_That I simply can't subdue_

_This sudden…_

_This sudden…_

_This sudden FEELING!_

_the way she stared _

_and got so scared_

_and then declared_

_It wasn't there. _

_The way she stressed _

_And then confessed _

_She couldn't see the suit_

_It was refreshing, it was…_

_It was…_

_It was CUTE!_

_She didn't lie,_

_didn't pretend_

_that she could see._

_Could she be the girl for…?_

_She didn't guess_

_Like all the rest_

_Who went and came,_

_They're all the same,_

_But she— _

_Could she be the girl for…?_

_She could be the girl for…_

_Oh let her be the girl for ME!_

END SCENE

The tailor's studio. The next day. MIRABELLE is sitting at the loom, LEON is doing some sewing on Jada's dress. JADA is studying on the floor with a pile of books, her back to the loom. She reads a page or so, then turns to look at the loom. Disappointed, she goes back to reading the book. She repeats this a few times.

JADA

Leon, this isn't working.

LEON

Just be patient, Princess, you still have a few more days to study.

JADA

But how come Nadine can see it? She's never read any of these books. She's never read anything but fairy tales. Hm, maybe that's what I should be studying-

LEON

(cuts her off) Absolutely not. How could fairy tales make you a better ruler?

JADA

Well fairy tale queens and princesses are always graceful and lovely and--

LEON

And vapid, uneducated and boring?

MIRABELLE

And whiny, desperate and annoying?

LEON

Mirabelle! (to JADA) You're already graceful and lovely, Princess. (standing up) Especially since you have such a talented tailor to sew your lovely, graceful gowns. Put your books down for a moment and try this on.

He helps JADA to her feet and hands her the gown. She goes behind a dressing screen to put it on. MIRABELLE stands up and approaches LEON.

MIRABELLE

(whispers) Oh my God, I can't believe you're falling for the goddamn princess! Leon? Are you insane? We're running a heist here!

LEON

I just— I mean- what are you talking about?

MIRABELLE

(mocking) You're already graceful and lovely, princess. (makes a disgusted face) It's repulsive.

LEON

You don't think she noticed?

MIRABELLE

What?!

LEON

Do you think Jada noticed that I…

LEON's sentence trails off when Jada comes out from behind the screen in the new gown. MIRABELLE rolls her eyes and returns to the loom.

JADA

It fits.

LEON

_It fits_? That, princess, is an understatement. You— you look beautiful. Look in the mirror

LEON leads her over to the mirror and begins making small adjustments on the bodice as JADA regards her reflection.

JADA

Oh, I like it. You were right about the color.

LEON

Of course I was right about the color. I'm a professional, Jada. You should trust me.

JADA

(laughing) I'll never doubt you again, Leon.

LEON

Good, cause your next dress is going to be bright pink velvet.

JADA

Oh no no, not on your life.

LEON

Well I guess Nadine tends to use up all the pink velvet anyway.

JADA and LEON laugh. LEON kneels down to adjust the gown's hem. SOPHIA enters with a small basket of clothing.

SOPHIA

Hello, I just came to drop off Fabian's mending. (looking at the loom) Oh Mirabelle, the silk looks so splendid.

MIRABELLE

Thank you Sophia, I'm glad you approve.

SOPHIA

Well, I'm off to finish Princess Nadine's washing. Good day!

SOPHIA exits. JADA stares at the door after she leaves.

LEON

Ha, I imagine all that pink velvet takes a long time to clean.

LEON laughs and looks up at JADA, confused that she's not laughing anymore.

JADA

_Sophia_ can see the silk? The laundress?!

LEON

Oh, Jada—

JADA

Why don't we just make Sophia the Empress!?

JADA starts to gather up her books.

LEON

Princess, she doesn't really— it's not what you think-

MIRABELLE

(under her breath) Quiet Leon-

JADA

You know what, you keep these, they obviously aren't helping.

JADA shoves the books into LEON's arms and runs out the door. LEON tries to follow but MIRABELLE holds him back.

LEON

She's still wearing the gown!

MIRABELLE

We'll get it later. You and I need to talk.


End file.
